How NOT to Write a Marketing Message

Posted on 22 July 2010

I just spotted a horrible, cringe-inducing phrase on the website of a professional service provider – she promises that her communication with her clients “is conducted in a facilitative manner”.

Yuck! Would you ever SAY that in a face-to-face conversation with a client? No? Then don’t WRITE that!

I don’t dare re-write that marketing message for her, because I don’t know enough about her business, her clients or her brand. But if she did hire me, I’d ask her to tell me how exactly she communicates with her clients, and why that’s important. I’d ask her: What does “in a facilitative manner” look, sound and feel like, for you and for your clients? And what’s the benefit of that for your clients?

2 responses to How NOT to Write a Marketing Message

  • Leah Dubyk says:

    WOW, you’ve got to be kidding! I use big words too (sometimes) but not like that. I’m still laughing and wondering how to pronounce “that word” and since you mentioned “look, sound and feel like” – that’s a mystery too!

    • kay says:

      Thanks Leah. I’m glad I’m not the only person who finds that phrase strange! In fact, I read it out to the participants in a corporate training seminar about copywriting that I taught last week, and the immediate response of one of the participants was: “WTF?!”.

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